Today my blood counts continue to drop and so does my energy level. I have catnapped on and off while enjoying short bursts of energy. From what I can gather this feeling can be similar to that of a person who has mono. Your body is so metabolically deprived that it just needs to rest. I believe that at this point during the transplant process I am going to have to dig deep and rely on mental toughness.
Throughout today as I tried to maintain this mental toughness, I was reminded of the Jimmy Valvano "Don't Give Up, Don't Ever Give Up" speech that some of my friends had shared on Facebook recently. This speech was made in 1993 which was shortly after my diagnosis of CIDP. Although I heard it at the time, I did not really listen or understand his meaning. I felt like I was already living this way since I was going through some of the hardest trials of my life at that point. Until yesterday, it had probably been 10 years since I had heard this famous speech. Watching him give that speech, made me realize how one powerful speech, one powerful message can have such a ripple effect on an entire country. His selflessness showed through during that speech, knowing his life may not be saved, but knowing that through his example others would be.
This speech is so powerful in and of itself that I have linked it here for you all to watch first hand. I hope that you do as Jimmy Valvano said, "Laugh, think and be moved to tears".
As Ann, Mom and I sat here reading the daily influx of cards that I received, I focused on applying those three principles of Laugh, Think and Be Moved to Tears. Reading those cards, thinking of the loved ones back home supporting this journey, the tears rolled freely down as I allowed myself to be moved to tears. What a great feeling that was to allow myself time to laugh at the funny cards, think and reflect on the people that sent them, and be moved to tears by their heartfelt words. I am reminded that mental toughness isn't always being "tough".